A small change

Was surprised to see a comment when i logged on! I mean this blog isnt even my official one. But it is definitely a blog that ive been spilling my heart out.

And so in respect to the comment, i shall try out what was said. CoS it really does make sense..Something that didnt occur to me before. Or rather something that i didnt take the time and effort to do in the past. And since im free now, why not?!

We spend sooOOO much time in our lives remembering the bad/angry/frustrated times we go through. But how many times do we think upon fond memory of the good things that happen to us?

And so here i'll start..

1) One thing i did today that im proud of..

-- I took the initiative to go and do on-the-spot closing even though noone else wanted to go with me. THough results werent that great, and i ended wasting my time instead, im still proud of my persistance in doing what i planned. =)


2) One thing im grateful of 2day

-- There was a point in the afternoon (after the last entry) when i got really pissed with the whole situation and decided to msg my whole gang instead. All replied my msg.. Told them i missed them very much. Im grateful to have such loving caring friends!! They may not always be around me..But they are a good bunch of peeps that i keep dear!!


3) One thing to look foward in the coming day

--NOTHING! hahah..alright alright..Definitely do NOT look foward to going into office. Cos wed is update day n i haven closed anything new.. hmm..i really dunno..
We were supposed to go for drinks tmr night. But it's at 11pm!! N was actually looking foward to it. But think tt idiot-tt-i-hate might be going..Sooo, not really looking foward anymore. In fact dun feel like going!! So wat if the drinks are free!?
Alright, so back to the question..I guess im looking foward to the time tmr when i'll be free to work on my back-load work. So many ppl to call and the chinese new year cards to work on too!!


kk, im done with tt little exercise..Feels a little good.. But still pissed with all of them. I know if i were to continue ignoring them, i'll be the one suffering the most in the end. But just dun feel like talking to ANY of them as of now..Perhaps just E is fine.

well..im off!! Just wanna go sleep! byeeee....

Hate everything now!

Since i have only one confirmed appt for today..Was intending to use the laptop now to blog abt my unhappiness with the people im working with.. BUT by some bloody reason, my batt is only less than 50% left now.

Must be tt idiotic sister of mine! She must have used it this morning and didnt charge it! Bloody hell!!

THis wHOLE day is not going well!!! Pissed~!!!!!

Now im alone doing on-the-spot.. Alright..YEt to start it but feeling like crap already!! Self-resistance level is on the highest level now man! Pissed la..

Everything's not going well...aarrghHHHHHHHHHHHH


I MISS MY GANG!!!

WHen will this end??

Realise a trend.

I only blog like nobody's business on lousy months. And so i'll hardly remember anything from my good months. But really lah, this month is going nowhere.

You know. Ive been thinking.. It's one thing to go through bad times when all u ever experienced before were the good ones COMPARED to never experiencing how good times feel.

I mean personal records, ive achieved 11-12 lives in a month before..And so now to have like 4-5 lives in a month,i cant help but feel like crap~! I mean there i was, telling da lao ban that my average per month is 6-7. Wtf man!!!!

SoooOOOOoo gonna get it frm him tmr man!

ANd where am i right now? At hoME!!! WAiting for my appt. But if my guts tell me right, it's gonna be postponed! GTH la..

Im sooOOOO fan! Soo many things to think about. I really need to get on the ball man! If only everyone else will cooperate. Just answer the bloody call bastards!!!

Btw on a different note, im also not really tt happy with 2 ppl on my team and tt same one on the other side. Cant be any bothered with the one on the other side. But it's those i have to face everyday who i cant stand anymore!

Sooooo bloody secretive! I mean like if u wanna talk abt something that u dun wan others to know, then DUN BLOODY TALK INFRONT OF THEM LAH!!!! I mean didnt anybody ever told u it's rude to whisper!! once again, GTH la!

Im in such a pissed off bad mood...Think im capturing tooo much negative energy. Arrghhh!!! If u can see me right now, im looking very normal with a bo chap look on my face. But deep down inside, im crumpling to pieces.

God help me!


Please. . . . . . . . . .

Lousier than lousy?

You know somethings u think u've reached rock bottom but then u realise that it can actually go deeper...That feeling of ultimate hopelessness.. However u wanna term tt feeling, im feeling just that way now.

THought with this new month, things would get better. I'll out-perform my past lousy month. And lo & behold. It's almost as bad~

Wtf lah..

It's as if i cant get out of this cursed stage. Going around in circles..

Feeling soooooooooooooooo bloody lousy. Cant even close a proper case without problems~! Frm parents frm prospects. GTH la..

Dun even knw why im doing all these...k la, im not giving up on the industry. Not yet...But just hate this kind of feelings la. Wanna cry but know that it wun bring any goodness to it. So still have tt heavy-in-the-heart feeling. All in the same time feeling like shit~

ahhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....feel like screaming my lungs out!!!! GOD!!!! WHY ARE U DOING THIS TO ME?!!??!?!??!?!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT IS IT THAT U WANT ME TO DO?????????????????
aahhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Still feeling lousy

*sighz*


Im in such a lousy mood. Feeling cranky all the time. Perhaps i can put the blame on the hormones. Or maybe even PMS...

But in honest fact, this month is going bad. B-A-D!!

Not even up to standard. MY standard. There are factors which i can blame everything on.. But i think pushing the blame wouldnt work. So thinking deeper, i realised ive been slacking in one area. That is the collection of leads.

Used to be able to do many in one session. Now standard has dropped to about less than half of the past! Lazy? Perhaps. Complacent? Lose of enthu?

Oh well... I go on and on about it. Really need to improve in that area! No use improving in closing ratio but being lazy in the gathering of leads. THus have lesser to meet. All goes around in a circle.

~Bleh~

Feeling lousy la...Past week was pure waste of time. This week lots of 'go-back-thinkers' . . . . -GaH-

Wun give up. Have to just work harder!! God, grant me the energy! Remove the evil of those who look upon with jealousy. Give me strength.

Ameen. . . .

Wat's there to be happy abt?! tsk

K, this being my private shouting ground...I shall just surpass the typical greetings for the new year. Cos yah, im fine with it being 2007..Not as if i can prevent that anyway!

But dunno why....iM suddenly overcome with a feeling of sadness. Or rather the feeling of being lost. It's not the same type of 'lost' i felt months back when i wasnt sure if im doing the right thing staying in this career.
This time, i really cant pinpoint why im sad. Perhaps im foretelling that my persistancy will be badly hit soon. I mean i can just feel it! Or maybe it's just the hormones working overtime!! After all it is due soon..

But aarrghhh..hate this feeling la! Feeling soooo lost. SO sad.. Soooo down. Just dun feel like smiling. I just feel like sinking deeper and deeper into my misery. Dun wanna do anything.........

Hate this!!!!!!! How am i gonna hit my target for the upcoming 'convention'? haizz..hope i'll wake up feeling better tmr!

God bless!