Great week...

Wow..this week is really one a better week for me.. In terms of work, not that bad..in terms of us (hah! as if we're really an 'US'!), it's also been really comfy and nice...

I mean the whole week we basically spent all the nights together. And does that make me happy? In many ways, YES...in some, im kinda sad.. I mean from time to time i'll hear u speaking to her or i know that she is messaging u.. And i know that even though u are with me in person, i dun have your heart.

I just dont understand why is it that you cant see that you are really enjoying yourself more with me.. I mean if u DO know, then why are you still not intending to change anything?

Are u taking me for fucking granted.. that i'll be around always.. That u can do the stuff which u enjoy, and just nice i enjoy too, then when u need some fucking romance, u find her cos tts already established between u two..

Some days i just wish im strong enough to walk away from all these..Some days i just like the way things are between us right now. So comfortable with each other. The way u touch me. Pamper me.. Then suddenly, she comes into mind and i feel all fucked up again.

Sometimes i wish she wasnt around. Sometimes i wish it were just us 2. Now i really wish that she'll find someone who loves her more n then leave this v wrong relationship..

As a friend i really think that things are really not right between the 2 of you. But then again it's the both of you who are in the relationship. And if she's ok with it then who m i to say anything... I just feel that perhaps..just perhaps, i can help us progress further together.

I think if we get together, we'll get soooo much further ahead in life, in our career, in our thinking..in our material assets and alot of other stuff la..

Haiz..I still do have feelings for u..I realise that things will not change de.. Very soon, u will probably ask her THE question and i'll be crushed to pieces.. Somehow i dont want that day to come. Somehow i think that perhaps when tt day comes, i can fully let go off u and this pain.

Maybe then i can move away from u both emtionally and physically. And if that hurts you, oh well, it was YouR choice..

I hate it the way things are right now in some sense.. I just hope one day, i'll have the chance to hold u in my arms,look you in the eyes and tell u that i love u.. I pray for the day to come..I pray for the day i can truly call you my own,wp.. I pray for the day that i can become your girlfriend and baby and eventually your wife..

haIZZ...emo-ing again..