Strong enough

You know, it's on days like these when i feel soooo strong..strong enough to know that im alright without you. That you're just another guy. I don't need to rush u with her anymore.

I think the more i see of your weakness, the more i feel that i can move on...Of cos i can accept u with ALL your flaws..However i think if the need be, i can move on away..and your flaws will be the pushing factor so that the heartache will not be that bad..

On friday night, u quarelled with jess thrgh msg (!) because u wanted to go fishing. Initially u were scheduled for an appt at 9pm then meet her for supper after that. But the appt sort of got postponed..then u,i and anna had dinner together after survey.

So u said wanna go fishing..then u msg her..but she alrdy dun like it..aiyah, anyway no purpose to write all these down. Why? because u 2 are alright again already..

Aiyah,dammit la..It's like quarrel quarrel..each blame themselves..then patch..then quarrel then patch..fuck la.

I see until fed up also already..dunno how u can tahan..

Then in the car on the way to bowling,u said what was the reason why u're upset..like once in awhile u wanna do the things tt u like,she also not supportive.. I actually wanted to tell u soooo many things..

If u were JUST a friend, i would have adviced u sooo much...how u shld treat her. How a girl thinks..stuff that will enhance the relationship between u 2..but how can i do that when im still sooo caught up by you?

Why in the world wld i wanna help u 2 get stronger!??!?!? So i said i had things to say but dunno how to say..Ended up advicing u a little la.. It's just soooo obvious that u 2 dun have similarities when it comes to hobbies..tts y the frequent quarrels.. But why dun u just see that?!??!

I wanted to blurt just tt point out..but held it back. U admitted in the car too, that u're a person who likes to be hong by people.. U like to be praised..U like attention..

Fuck. I know all that already.. And i know u're living off that because i shower all those on u! Not because i HAVE to..but because i WANT to... and so u're closer to me..But dont u realise yet that u're just making use of me this way? I need something from u too know.. I need your love..i want your concern.. I want u to want me!

That's when i sort of dropped a few tears on the way because i just cldnt bear it that i have to hold soo much back now. All the pain u're going through, be it with work or with her,..u dont even have to go through half of that if im with u!
I believe we'll have our own problems la..Our own set of topics to quarrel about..but at least i believe i know how to pamper u..and i think u know how to do the same for me..

Shit la...im just gonna concentrate on losing weight for now. Once i've hit the 8kg,im gonna tell u..I know it's gonna mess your world but i dun care..I just wanna give it this shot at getting my 'xing fu'...25years..i think i waited enough le..

I dun need a guy to take action first..let's see how fast this can happen..