I miss u baby

I like writting in this blog..I can really let go and be myself here cos noone else knows me..Or at least i hope till now,noone that i know is reading all these...My deepest thoughts..My most sincere feelings.. Why put it in the cyber world if i want it to stay secret then? Maybe cos im too darn lazy to write it out on paper with a pen? Maybe becos if i write it out, the chances of someone who i dun want prying my stuff may read it in the end! So yes,it's safer here if i just dun give out this url or lose my com..

So what's the update between us? Well, world cup ended just a few days ago. On sat night (early sundau morning to be exact), we went to watch it together. It was the 3rd n 4th placing match.. That morning u were already having the symptoms of being sick..But i joked and teased u for over-acting..Said u werent tt ill..not to fake it..hee. . .

Anyway let's skip to the part where u got really ill..Which is sunday..We did communicate over sms n a few calls on sun(mainly to discuss our scoccer bettings)..But since tt match,we have not met up..That comes up to a grand total of 4days!! Why? Cos yours truly passed your germs to me too! I think u alrdy had the virus within u on fri le..If i recall,we did share drinks on fri..But didnt on sat..So oh well.. I caught it..

Was on mc for tues n weds..u were on mc mon n tues..haha..so haven met since then..i think u have some course tmr morning n i have to leave for an appt early.. So i wonder if we'll meet tmr or only on fri..Wow! 4days is really the longest which we haven meet each other.. Even the CNY break,we met up after 2-3days i think..

Anyway i hope in this case, distance makes the heart fonder..have u seriously missed me? hheee. .. i know i teased u over the sms earlier regarding this..n u actually flirted back by saying that i missed u issit? Then asked me to admit it n dun need to be shy..

Stoopid dumb dumb..u know le why still have to ask.. I really hope for the day i can tell u this honest truth face to face.. Part of me dread tt day but part of me cant wait for it.. I know telling it out to u will destroy perhaps everything we've built up and are building up right now..

I know u'll have to re-access the situation with u n jess..U see! Even until now, i refuse to refer to her as your gf..! Im still soooo ignorant about how difficult this is all gonna be..

I know part of me knows that there's a very high chance that u'll want to keep things simple and leave them the way it is..Saying that your feelings for me are simpler one that u have for a FRIEND.. N i know that i cant stay simpler as a friend with you.. And after this then what? How can i face you? How do i communicate with you thereafter?

However if maybe..just maybe u feel the same way for me too..then it can be a total different and beautiful start to an amazing chapter for me? Im really hoping and praying for this to happen...I know liv. said that by even hoping, im actually thinking there's a possibility and so im gonna hurt more if the opposite happens..

You know what, i seriously hope i can lose the amt of weight im aiming at asap so that i can tell u..I want to do it before your house thing is confirmed..
Fuck! I pray that your ballot doesnt get through man! I really really think we can be great together..

You know seriously...I used to think BJs are disgusting..I remember even once promising myself that i'll never do a BJ for any guy not even my own husband... But then u came along..and everything changed.

Seriously, i would willingly do a BJ for u..Get in that compromising position to give u a few moments of pleasure? Why not? Cos i know u wun treat me like crap after tt..I dun think u're the wham-bam-thank-you-maam kind..

These days,when u sit next to me,like in the movies the other day...it takes soooooo much will-power to not turn and kiss u right there. On the cheeks or full-on on the lips..

Really..tons of times the last few days i really had to stop myself from reaching over n kissing u.. U've been more touchy with me too...this is of cos before we both got sick la..Im wondering if it's because u're just horny or are u really starting to feel more comfortable with me now..

Haizz..i know i shld not read too much into all of these..Honestly, it seems like u're having 2 gfs at the moment.. I know u humor me quite a bit these days.. But then again there's your official gf just there! Not sure if u're going out of your way to do this anot, but i realise these days u seldom speak abt her infront of me le..

So much so that i cant help but feel as if u 2 have broken up..Or more like u're single le..haizz..

I cant wait to see how we interact when we first meet again for the 1st time after so many days..Let's see what happens frm there.. I miss u baby..