All good things must come to an end? Why?
As i attempt to start off this entry, im once again filled with sadness.. and yes,it still has something to do with him..
Actually the past 2weeks, ever since tt sun/mon issue (frm last entry), we've gotten closer and closer. The teasing and whacking each other has increased. The time we spent together has gone up like..wow~ We also msg each other alot more times..day or night..
Haiz..but regardless so, sometimes reality just whacks me on the head real hard..And then i remember that he has a gf.. Who he intends to marry. Who he intends to buy a house with. Whose family is almost like his own..Who arghh dammit! Bullshit about the intends to buy a house with. It's already like BOUGHT a house with le..
Arrghh dammit la! I hate it when i get really emo like this! I mean i KNOW that he has her le.. And this time he's like damn serious about her. But somehow, i dunno why am i still pinning on the hope that perhaps if i lose lots of weight..or perhaps if he realises that he enjoys spending time with me more than her..or perhaps if he finds out that i like him after all the above is fullfilled then perhaps..just perhaps, he'll decide to break up with her and be with me instead? All these loads of perhaps is just making me sick! Esp right now..
Esp after we're spending sooo much time together that im getting sooo used to him again.. Do you know how many times when he's sitting next to me, i just feel like leaning over and kiss him..Do u know how when he slept in the car next to me as i drove tt day, how much i wanted to just stop driving and watch him sleep? Do u know how often i pray sooooo hard soo hard that he'll be my boyfriend?
Yes,i no longer am infactuated by his every move. I think ive moved out of that phrase. But i am still very attracted by some attributes of his character..
Sadly, i can only love and appreciate them as a friend. I think he's made it quite clear during one of our past conversation. When i asked him what are my strengths? He said easy-going,bubbly friendly. Can keep as a friend.. Dunno whether i think too much or what, but he seemed to keep emphasizing the keep as a FRIEND part.. haizz...
I dunno la.. Just got home abt 1hr ago frm our dinner-then-prawning session, and u've yet to msg me to ask if im home.. This is the 1st time u've 'forgotten' in a long while to msg me that.. And i wonder what has gotten your attention..
haiizz... I still dont understand why im pinning for u sooo much. Am i a bitch for praying that u'll b my boyfriend despite knowing that u have a steady gf? Am i an asshole for wanting you..For wanting you to help me fulfill the happiness which i have been waiting for so long..
Sometimes i really wonder.. When you are with me.. Laughing. Joking.. having fun..Are u thinking about her? I have your physical state with me..But so what?!?! Your heart and mind are with her.. haaiizz..
I wonder how im gonna fair when i get to macau and spend sooo much more time with u then..oh well, pretty heartbroken now.. Think best to go and sleep and forget everything for now..God Bless me Please...
Actually the past 2weeks, ever since tt sun/mon issue (frm last entry), we've gotten closer and closer. The teasing and whacking each other has increased. The time we spent together has gone up like..wow~ We also msg each other alot more times..day or night..
Haiz..but regardless so, sometimes reality just whacks me on the head real hard..And then i remember that he has a gf.. Who he intends to marry. Who he intends to buy a house with. Whose family is almost like his own..Who arghh dammit! Bullshit about the intends to buy a house with. It's already like BOUGHT a house with le..
Arrghh dammit la! I hate it when i get really emo like this! I mean i KNOW that he has her le.. And this time he's like damn serious about her. But somehow, i dunno why am i still pinning on the hope that perhaps if i lose lots of weight..or perhaps if he realises that he enjoys spending time with me more than her..or perhaps if he finds out that i like him after all the above is fullfilled then perhaps..just perhaps, he'll decide to break up with her and be with me instead? All these loads of perhaps is just making me sick! Esp right now..
Esp after we're spending sooo much time together that im getting sooo used to him again.. Do you know how many times when he's sitting next to me, i just feel like leaning over and kiss him..Do u know how when he slept in the car next to me as i drove tt day, how much i wanted to just stop driving and watch him sleep? Do u know how often i pray sooooo hard soo hard that he'll be my boyfriend?
Yes,i no longer am infactuated by his every move. I think ive moved out of that phrase. But i am still very attracted by some attributes of his character..
Sadly, i can only love and appreciate them as a friend. I think he's made it quite clear during one of our past conversation. When i asked him what are my strengths? He said easy-going,bubbly friendly. Can keep as a friend.. Dunno whether i think too much or what, but he seemed to keep emphasizing the keep as a FRIEND part.. haizz...
I dunno la.. Just got home abt 1hr ago frm our dinner-then-prawning session, and u've yet to msg me to ask if im home.. This is the 1st time u've 'forgotten' in a long while to msg me that.. And i wonder what has gotten your attention..
haiizz... I still dont understand why im pinning for u sooo much. Am i a bitch for praying that u'll b my boyfriend despite knowing that u have a steady gf? Am i an asshole for wanting you..For wanting you to help me fulfill the happiness which i have been waiting for so long..
Sometimes i really wonder.. When you are with me.. Laughing. Joking.. having fun..Are u thinking about her? I have your physical state with me..But so what?!?! Your heart and mind are with her.. haaiizz..
I wonder how im gonna fair when i get to macau and spend sooo much more time with u then..oh well, pretty heartbroken now.. Think best to go and sleep and forget everything for now..God Bless me Please...
posted by Joyz at 8:16 AM
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